Saturday, 3 September 2016

A Slow Day in Court

Having endured more than the odd day covering Magistrates Court myself as CDO, especially on a hot sunny day, I can fully appreciate where Mark Naylor, the now famous court reporter for the Grimsby Telegraph, is coming from:- 

Woman breaking wind cuts through sombre silence of Grimsby courtroom

The sombre silence of a Grimsby courtroom was rudely broken when a woman suddenly broke wind very loudly from the public gallery. The unexpected and highly unwelcome interruption to the dignity of the court day proved to be the dubious highlight of an otherwise dull day at Grimsby Magistrates' Court.

It is not the first time that the loud breaking of wind has abruptly shattered the order and peacefulness of judicial proceedings in Court Four. 
On another infamous occasion, those present in court struggled to keep straight faces as the male culprit, also sitting in the public gallery, shattered the silence with his unwelcome contribution to – or comment on – the proceedings. This time, as then, nothing was said publicly about the unexpectedly loud sound but nervous twitches and stifled grins were seemingly the order of the day.
Noisy flatulence interrupts court session in Grimsby
By This is Grimsby | Posted: January 31, 2013

The quiet dignity of a court session was abruptly disturbed when someone loudly broke wind in the public gallery.
Nobody apologised for the noisy interruption – and there were anxious looks from people nearby who feared they might get the blame. Grimsby magistrates pretended they had not heard a thing, and in a seemingly unrelated incident a few minutes later, all the lights went out for a few seconds before flickering back on again.
There was an unwelcome sequel this time, however, because the same woman returned to the courtroom in the afternoon, prompting emergency evasive action to be taken by some. One male observer, originally sitting unknowingly next to the culprit on the front row of the public gallery, was told about what had happened and hastily moved back a row to provide a bit more distance in the event of a second unexpected event.

He also took cover outside the courtroom door later on during proceedings in a wise pre-emptive bid to avoid being in the firing line in the event of an ear-splitting encore. He later suffered the indignity of being blamed by others for being the one responsible for the noise in the first place.


Internet laps up 'mind-blowing' story on woman breaking wind in Grimsby courtroom

Our report on the rude interruption to proceedings at Grimsby Magistrates' Court was read by over 100,000 people on Friday alone. News of a woman breaking wind in a Grimsby courtroom swept the internet on Friday.

The unexpected and highly unwelcome interruption to the dignity of the court day proved to be the dubious highlight of an otherwise dull day at the court. It is not the first time that the loud breaking of wind has abruptly shattered the order and peacefulness of judicial proceedings in Court Four.

Yesterday, scores of internet sites and social media users posted links to the story and offered their thoughts on 'windgate'.

(That's enough - Ed)


  1. In light of today's blog topic, I've decided not to occupy my day with interesting debate and discussion on the subject but rather I will now go visiting.

    I intend to visit them all if I can, and maybe do two laps if time and gravity allows.

  2. Excellent idea - some fabulous pubs in Liverpool - wish I could join you.

  3. Jarvis Manual (Alias)3 September 2016 at 15:40

    Err... couple of comments I posted in light hearted vein been removed... is there a problem, Jim? I thought they were fairly innocuous puns?

    1. I'm not some troll. I genuinely thought the "gags" were just lame, groan-worthy puns on words. Have I upset someone/broken some blog rule I was unaware of? Did I miss some unintended double meaning? Apologies in advance if I have.

    2. I'm afraid you fell foul of my current ill-temper brought about firstly by dealing with Ryanair and secondly falling for a scam by shelling out £35 unnecessarily to renew my EHIC. In such a state of annoyance and anger, I'm afraid I didn't laugh and pressed delete instead - I suppose a freudian metaphor for dealing with Michael O'Leary if I ever met the irritating Irishman.....

    3. Ok Jim. First, thank you very much for replying. I was worried I'd made a dreadful faux pas in naivety. Second, I am sorry you had such negative experiences, I was trying to make light of things, and I apologise unreservedly for where I fell short. Clearly it was not helpful.
      Thank you for all you do, have done and surely will do. I too am a CQSW trained grumpy, (was main grade), etc person... Keep it up mate. You are a star to many.
      I remember years ago getting an effusive letter from a client telling me how I'd transformed his life. Trouble was I was so overworked I couldn't for the life of me remember him...
      No doubt you have many more of those than me, as I left 20 years ago and I am now applying to come back... So thank you for explaining. Have a great weekend, and illigetimi non they say. Sorry the "gags" fell at the wrong moment.

    4. Applying to come back???.....Have you been reading this blog???......Bobbyjoe

  4. Jarvis etc and so on3 September 2016 at 16:46

    Oops I mean many more you have helped, not many more you can't remember. Blimey t'interweb is a tricky medium.