Guest Blog 19

OK, I've gotten around to it. I am a former Client, the same former Client who has, in the past, forced Jim to adopt moderation to his comments due to admittedly occasional offensive remarks, so I expect most of you to be reading this with a certain predisposition towards me. I do seem to have developed a certain hatred towards the Probation Service and several individual Probation persons in particular, so here it is, maybe a little rambling and repetitive in places and without recourse to offensive and abusive language...

I was convicted of Exposure charges towards adult Women, I fully accept that what I did was wrong, offensive and abusive, the potential full effect of my actions I'm never likely to know, but they disliked my offending so much as to involve the Police and there is a possibility that I could have caused a great deal of psychological abuse towards those whom I offended. For this I am very apologetic and if I could do anything feasible to help them I would do so. Even if I do say so myself, I was well aware at the time of the offence to the reasons as to why I was offending. There was no intervention that ever needed to attempt to explain any of that to me. I was not given a Custodial sentence but was given a period of time of supervision and ordered to attend a Sex Offender Treatment Programme.

Anything to do with Sex Offending is of course likely to stir up negative emotions in many, Sexual activity is, to the vast majority, considered private and precious, only to be to be engaged within the most intimate of relationships with significant others. Any attempt to explain why these offences occur are likely to attract the comments of those claiming them to be "Sex Offender apologists", I am not going to apologise for anybody's offending except my own and neither do I have any reputation or career to protect, I am here to express my opinions on what I have experienced. This is my attempt to exorcise some of the grief I feel towards those who personally see fit to implement and enforce these Programmes and explain how participating in an SOTP has left me with continued feelings of offence and abuse, been a major contribution to my development of a personality disorder and to try to explain why and where I believe, from my side of the argument, with little other than my own observations to back my own opinions up, that you are implementing an intervention with a high likelihood of causing not only what it attempts to prevent: reoffending, but also more subtle abuses with potential lasting damaging effects on those who have attended these Programmes.

I am not going to attempt to minimise anyone's Sexual Offending, but there are quite clearly different categories of offences and if any public survey was conducted I strongly feel that we could all come to a similar conclusion about which we would each consider to be of a general higher severity than others. I shall directly contradict the reason that was given to me by a Group Manager for putting all offences together in the same group programme: Offenders have the same reasons for committing their Offences. Incorrect. Everybody has a different etiology and everybody should be "treated" differently in an individualised setting. The levels and types of punishment are different for each offence, therefore it follows that the levels and types of "treatment" should also be different for each individual offence. 

When challenged on this or in fact anything to do with the standard of treatment the party line would appear to be "lack of resources" what does that mean I wonder? Not enough pens and pencils? Or not enough strong persons in your service who can clearly see state sanctioned malpractice taking place and are more than happy to uphold senior directions and never challenge their Bosses? The Facilitators and Group Managers clearly do not care for the mental well being of the Client. The Facilitators and Managers are clearly not the correct persons to be providing any sort of assistance to the Client, yet whatever I say does not make the slightest difference, they shall continue to do anything they are told to do, provided they are paid for it.

I can manage to prevent myself from re-offending, don't try to suggest to me that I can prevent someone else from doing so, as much as it is a fine idea, I do not have that ability, I am not a Councillor, Therapist, Psychologist or Psychiatrist. In particular, interests in Children for sexual purposes is apparently a disposition that people are born with, why was I being asked to challenge their beliefs? I have no training whatsoever in dealing with such persons or views. I have no want to speak, or associate, or be challenged about my Offending by them either. I do not wish to invite them into my life. Why do Probation personnel believe that this is a valid and workable way to approach working with Sex Offenders? Do they believe that what they are doing is in some way a fantastic intervention? Do Facilitators and Group Managers have an equanimous mindset on their approach to this work they are making a living out of? Do they not take their work seriously? If you are involved in SOTP and I know some of you are, then please detail your reasons in the comments below...

The idea being that the Facilitators only facilitate the conversation, they introduce a topic and set the conversation going with an intention of getting these Clients to confront each other about their own understandings on the matters, so you have the manipulative persons questioning the more impressionable persons and the Facilitators assessing you by means your of response and body language. Unfortunately if innocently playing Devil's advocate this is likely to be interpreted as your own personal view on the matter. The whole idea of putting Sex Offenders, some of whom have been through custody, displaying highly manipulative traits and are responsible for some of the most higher-end Sexual Offences into the same room as young, impressionable Men who are responsible for some of the more lower-end Sexual Offences is entirely wrong for the exact reasons those who uphold and implement it, have conviction in believing it to be the correct thing to do.

I vividly recall listening to one offender explaining how he, as a Teacher, molested young Boys, I did not have any training or preparation for listening to such a story, I am not interested in any detailed explanations as to why he did what he did, of course at the end we are supposed and invited to challenge on as to why he did such a thing. I was not in any way comfortable being there listening to that, being asked to challenge that. I can only guess as to what the young Man who had previously been abused by a Teacher had to think of it. It is quite a disgusting thing to make a career out of, how do Facilitators of these groups right what they do with themselves? A great deal of positive delusion must take place in the thought processes of such people, they must be unconcerned as to the damaging effects that they enforce, either they do not care, they do not see the potential for harm or they are convinced that they are doing it for the greater good and I suppose they are, the Facilitators and Managers of such groups are the main beneficiary's as they receive a wage for their attendance.

I am at a loss as to why thousands of pounds are spent putting Offenders through this intervention, it does not make any sense in either an economic stand point or as real beneficial treatment for the individuals concerned. I can only see it as a huge waste of time and money.

Nobody is assessed as to whether they are suitable for the SOTP, the pre work that is undertaken does not address any existing mental health issues, levels of deviousness or amount of potential learning that may be achieved by completing the course.

I would like to believe that those Facilitators were genuinely interested in promoting effective change, however the content of the sessions and my perception of the attitude of most of them led me to think differently... Perhaps they hold unresolved, deep seated resentment, perhaps they had been treated badly in previous relationships, or even abused themselves. Putting themselves into this position acts as a form of revenge or soothing for them, they are covert Sexists. Or perhaps naive attempts to help Offenders? There are undoubtedly those in society who feel that they are to be a Hero and that their own personal intervention can inspire positive change in peoples lives for the better, they shall of course receive the highest prizes for being the person responsible for any perceived positive outcomes...

The voyeuristic nature of Facilitators, under a shroud of caring, confidence tricksters, experience junkies... barbed sentences with multiple interpretations easily explained away in the event of a complaint as incorrect or paranoiac on the part of the Offender, double talk is rife amongst Facilitators. Continuous blaming of "Lack of resources" I would suggest that perhaps to those delivering such things that the lack of resource is a little closer to home than they are ever likely to comprehend.

Amateur attempts to break you down to build you up, challenge perceived cognitive distortions and if none are readily apparent, invent some to challenge...

There is little doubt that some Probation personnel may know who is writing this. I'm unconcerned, maybe they are too. I am just another one of the many faces that they have had through their doors and, if anything, this should be considered a part of my supervision, it should be a positive that I am choosing to use Jim's outlet to express my feeling and concern, especially seeing as, there is no real outlet to do so through official Probation channels.

As for the future well I am now talking to real people with real holistic natures who can respond to what I say without a guarded stance or barbed bitchiness or being interrupted by Joe Sex Offender.

Perhaps this blog will help a few more of you see the light and leave the Service, I'm sure many of you are decent enough people, it's a great shame that you are not allowed to demonstrate it in your day to day working. I could no doubt do the job of Probation Officer, attain the required qualifications and be equanimous towards my own better judgement and delude myself with the brand of wishy-washy corporate Zen that would appear to go hand in hand with institutionalised abuse... You can bring yourself to do anything if you do not care less... I quite simply wouldn't though.

I myself caused an amount of harm to some Women who survived my abusing, I deserved to be punished for doing that. There are ways and means of punishing and rehabilitating people, unfortunately SOTP is in no way the correct method to go about doing it, it in itself is undoubtedly at least in part responsible for numerous SFO's.

If you don't know what you are supposed to be doing anymore then I'd suggest you are maybe a little slow on the uptake, everyone, and I mean everyone who leaves an SOTP session and goes outside onto the street are united in one thing and one thing only: what a crock the entire thing is.

Best wishes, Anonymous Client 1...