Poetry Please

So, it would seem Mike Maiden has left the helm of the new NPS after just two months for personal reasons, but after nearly a month I notice there is sign of life over on the Napo forum pages at long last. I hope the author Anonexpo of the following will not mind me quoting their endeavours in full.

If (with apologies to Rudyard Kipling)

If you can fail to think when all about you
can see your errors and point them out to you,
If you trust yourself when professionals all doubt you, 
And fail to understand their doubting too;
If you can fail and not be tired by failing, 
And lie about, whilst still denying lies,
And being hated, spend your time denying, 
And don’t look good, nor be remotely wise: 

If you can’t reason, and make dogma your master; 
if you can’t think, and believe it makes you no less;
If you can cause both cock-up and disaster
And treat those two impostors as success;
If you can’t comprehend that what you’ve spoken
Show you and all your peers to be such fools,
If you ensure that which works gets broken,
Placing public protection in the hands of greedy fools.

If you can use statistics that are broken,
Claiming failure where we do not even work,
If you refuse to pilot in the open, 
And cover up the risks with PR murk,  
If you can be a most fascistic bully,   
Ignoring risks and the advice you get,  
Issuing demands that must be met fully, 
So civil servants act now, later to regret. 

If you can make one heap of all your earning,
Keep it, then risk others’ safety on a toss,
Then lose, and start again without learning,   
And yet deny the existence of your loss;
If you claim you’ll save the public money, 
Then give companies that rip us off free reign,
Yet not realise that it’s so sad it’s almost funny, 
That you still exalt greed and private gain.

If you can ask the questions that are needed,  
Yet fail to hear the answers that ensue, 
If you can make sure people don’t feel headed, 
Whilst pretending it is listening that you do, 
If you can fail to provide working systems,  
Using technology outdated by the ark, 
And toe the lines that come from big corporations,  
Despite the fact that they’re so off the mark 

If you can bullshit crowds and have no virtue, 
Walk all over us and have no common touch,
If everyone can see so clearly through you,  
If all staff you meet hate you so much,
If you can waste each unforgiving minute,
By talking much but still saying not one thing,
Then you’ll ruin probation and everything that’s in it, 
And much blood will be on your hands Mr Grayling.