Prison Groupies

A recent post on the Prisoners Families Voices website got me pondering on a topic not often talked about. The post was discussing a friend and her relationship with their partner in prison. Although pregnant to him, he had written her a 'Dear John' dumping her in favour of a woman he'd yet to meet. To add insult to injury, the new partner had felt it appropriate to send the jilted party copies of their 'loved-up' postal exchanges.


This post gives a rare insight into the whole phenomenon of relationships that form between prisoners and complete strangers on the outside. I suspect it's always gone on since man started locking people up - photos, names, addresses and nowadays even phone numbers circulate between inmates and there never seems to be any lack of people willing to respond and form a relationship with a prisoner. In more recent times the process became formalised to the extent that specialist contact magazines were published. I've certainly known clients meet, marry and even divorce whilst serving long sentences and I've naturally pondered on exactly what the motivation is. Surely it can't all be down to maternal instincts? You know the sort of thing - 'he's just misunderstood - I can sort him out.'


As with many things associated with human beings, there is a dark unsettling aspect. It is a sad reflection on human nature that certain notorious prisoners attract huge amounts of fan mail. It seems to be a rule of thumb that the more awful the crime, the more interest they attract of an overt sexual nature. It doesn't matter what the offenders gender happens to be - both sexes attract unsolicited approaches from complete strangers. It should go without saying that such correspondence and ill-judged interest does nothing for professionals trying to encourage acceptance of responsibility and rehabilitation on the part of the prisoner.


In trying to understand what the hell is going on, I'm reminded of Erin Pizzey's book 'Prone to Violence' published in 1982 whilst I was still at university. Although having impeccable credentials as the founder of the Women's Refuge Movement, she was subsequently vilified by feminists for daring to challenge the belief that domestic violence could only be explained in terms of the subjugation of women by men. Having interviewed hundreds of victims she espoused a more complex explanation involving an 'addiction' to violence brought about by poor parenting. By also suggesting that women could be just as violent towards men, she so thoroughly challenged accepted wisdom that I think I'm right in saying her book was publicly burnt. Sadly, subsequent death threats forced her from these shores, in the process of course to an extent proving her hypothesis. 


In essence Erin Pizzey was saying that for some people, their only way of relating to each other is by the currency of violence. The sense of danger seems to be as attractive as a bright light is to a moth. I suspect there might be an element of this at play here.