Join a modern, target-driven organisation where your primary responsibilities will include
- Completing housing referrals longer than most Russian novels
- Explaining to five agencies why nothing is your responsibility but somehow still yours
- Managing prison releases planned approximately six minutes in advance
- Assessing “risk” using different IT systems that don’t talk to each other
- Recording everything multiple times in slightly different formats
- Feeding the systems first and seeing people if time allows
- Delivering rehabilitation primarily through keyboards, drop-down menus and duplicate case notes
- Absorbing the consequences of every upstream policy failure while being told this is “innovation”
What We’re Looking For
We welcome applicants who:
- Care deeply about people (this will be gently trained out of you)
- Can tolerate high workload and low trust
- Are comfortable having professional judgement replaced by templates
- Accept that experience is optional but compliance is essential
- View burnout as a personal development opportunity
- Plan to leave within 2–3 years for a better paid job elsewhere
Pay & Rewards
Enjoy:
- A decade of pay “progression” worth roughly 7–10% against an 80%+ rise in living costs
- Settlements consistently lower than comparable public sector roles
- Occasional £20 vouchers as recognition for managing life-threatening risk
- A generous 4% offer described repeatedly as “beyond remit”
Career Development
- Watch newly qualified colleagues leave for police, prisons or literally anything else
- Take on their caseload
- Repeat
To transform probation into a streamlined, efficient throughput service where:
- Process replaces judgement
- Churn replaces experience
- Surveillance replaces support
- And “capacity” replaces care
Because if you wanted to actually work with people, you probably should have been a nurse, teacher or social worker.
Probation Service. Keeping the spreadsheets safe since 2010
Anon
